Soon-to-be ex ponders divorce disclosure

Dear Amy: Should I accompany my husband to his parents’ house in order to tell them that we are getting divorced — after 32 years of marriage?

“Dan” and I have been together since high school and have lived within five minutes of my in-laws for 30 years.

We see them at least once a month.

After much careful consideration, we have decided that a divorce is the most responsible path for us, for reasons I won’t begin to explain.

My husband asked me to go with him to tell his parents, but I am conflicted.

I feel that closure is important and respectful, but we are not divorcing because everything is wonderful.

I feel like my husband knows it’ll be easier for him if I am with him, but I do not want to project like everything is OK.

What are your thoughts? What are some ways I can handle this news?

I am also worried about the scene being too emotional for me, and I’d like to avoid that.

— Splitting

Dear Splitting: Not every divorce is a “conscious uncoupling,” and it might be naïve to believe that accompanying your husband would provide any “closure” to your in-laws. Closure is complicated, and you might not ever believe you’ve achieved it.

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